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iceheavy-branches:

I want one of those marriages where they’ve been married 20 years but are still crazy in love and still cuddle on the couch and kiss a lot. I want those kind of marriages that make my kids nauseous because how in love their parents are.




captaiinmarvel:

when girls press their whole body against you when they hug, it means they like you a lot. also, they’re measuring your body to determine how long it will take them to eat your flesh, a technique shared by boa constrictors


exhistur:

I wonder if anyone ever looks at me while I’m doing something and thinks I’m pretty. Because I do that all the time to people. 


gnarly:

circumcising:

what did people even wear in 2008

apple bottom jeans and boots with the fur 


zeldac0re:

I hope I’m one of those kids that just magically becomes hot after they leave high school


actionables:

SERIOUSLY BE NICE TO YOUR ANIMALS BECAUSE THEY LOVE YOU MORE THAN YOU DESERVE AND MORE THAN ANY HUMAN EVER WILL


iamaslumberbatch:

a-lot-like-diana:

so basically when you have your period and your lower back hurts it is because your hips are contracting and spreading apart, only slightly, to make room for the release of the blood and linings of your uterus. so basically your body is going through a small and mild labor to push out the dead insides of your uterus. so basically I have gone through labor and basically I don’t want children. 

why aren’t we taught this shit



lordofthepringles:

If I introduce a movie to you, and we watch it together, I’ll be spending at least 99.9% of the time watching you to make sure you are responding correctly to the film.